


Not Broken, Just Different

by meepmorpperaltiago



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Autism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-15
Updated: 2018-11-15
Packaged: 2019-08-24 04:37:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16633088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meepmorpperaltiago/pseuds/meepmorpperaltiago
Summary: Amy Santiago's journey to self acceptance as the Autistic Icon she is





	Not Broken, Just Different

**Author's Note:**

> This was kind of hard for me to write, but I’m so glad that I did - hope you enjoy it! Also, sorry if the equation on Amy’s list is a bit random, I know nothing about maths!

Flowery notebooks. Binders in a neat row. E equals Mc squared. The square root of minus one. Flowery notebooks. Binders in a neat row. E equals Mc squared. The square root of minus one. These familiar comforts run through Amy’s mind and she’s safe. She’s happy. 

There were a lot of words that those who knew Amy used when she was little. Quirky, unique, just a bit offbeat. When she used to cry and throw tantrums in the mall, or at school, in places where the noise and the chaos pressed down on her mind until she couldn’t bear it anymore, no one knew the reason why. 

When she watched her favourite movies until there were holes in the VHS tapes, or read the same books until she knew every word, when she got older and used to write out the same equations over and over in the neat notebooks she used to spend hours poring over in the store, when she collected binders instead of the stickers that were all the rage, when she danced and jumped around when she was happy, people just used to say that she was odd. This apparent oddness was also accepted as the reason for her lack of friends. She never told anyone about the thick, heavy glass that had always been there, between her and everyone else she knew, that no matter how hard she tried to break through, she just couldn’t do it, that every time she tried to speak, the words would disappear like fog. She never told anyone how she used to think of herself as broken.   
In spite of all of this, she persisted. She used her incredible memory to ace every exam, to get through school and College with flying colours, to get into the Police Academy. At her mandatory psych evaluation, that was where she heard the word ‘Autism’ for the first time. In reference to her anyway. 

It was like everything clicked that day. After she was officially diagnosed, she had help, people understood. And then she joined the 99 and she had the strongest support network she could’ve asked for. She had Jake, who did Santiago levels of research even when they were still just partners, so that he could understand her as much as possible. She did the same for him later, when he was diagnosed with ADHD. She had a Captain and a colleague who were the same as her. There was still a struggle of course. Not everyone was understanding, some ignorant dogs in the NYPD still barked at her and called her awful slurs, but it was nothing she hadn’t dealt with before. By the time she became a Sergeant and then a Lieutenant and then a Captain, she had never felt as loved or as supported. She wasn’t and never would be broken. She was just different. 

Flowery notebooks. Binders in a neat row. E equals Mc squared. The square root of minus one. Flowery notebooks. Binders in a neat row. E equals Mc squared. The square root of minus one. Amy is safe. She’s happy.


End file.
